A Week in the NICU

After Hannah was born, she had to spend one week in the NICU. This made for a somewhat emotional/stressful week. In childbirth class, the teacher had warned us that something about our childbirth experience would not go as planned. She said you may have a long labor, you may need a c-section, you may be early or late, your pain relief plan may not work, etc. All through my pregnancy, I had pictured having my baby in my hospital room with me and Josh, learning how to nurse right away, taking her home with me, and having Josh home for a week with us. None of this happened. I struggled with thoughts that maybe I did something wrong or maybe I could have somehow prevented this. I also worried that somehow her health would be permanently harmed because of her being born early, and I worried that maybe it was my fault. Josh kept telling me that was ridiculous, but I still worried. I asked one of the nurses how long she would be in the NICU. They were not really allowed to say because they really didn't know for sure, but she said they are always told to tell moms to shoot for their due date-that was five weeks away!!! She then said she thought it would be more like 2 to 2 1/2 weeks. This still devastated me. I wanted her home so bad. It was very hard to say good bye and leave her there every night. I worried that the nurses were spending more time with her than I was and that our "bonding" was being harmed by the situation. One thing that made the situation easier was the nurses in the NICU. They were wonderful and clearly adored Hannah and took great care of her. One of them was already trying to set her up with her son! Whenever we were there, they made sure that we got to do everything (diaper changes, feedings, temperature checks, etc.) which I really appreciated. The first weekend was extremely exhausting. The day she was born, we literally had visitors from the moment she was born until we went to bed. I didn't even get a shower that day and I had been in the hospital since Thursday (gross!). Our phone seemed to never stop ringing and people wanted to see us non-stop. We were allowed to be in the NICU at all hours, but I kept having to go back to my room to pump or for my "check-ups" or to greet visitors. It was so exhausting! I never got to take a nap the whole week and I had to get up every 3 hours during the night to pump. I wished she was in our room so I could at least be comfortable and be with her at the same time. I just couldn't rest in my room knowing she was in the NICU-I just wanted to be with her! Monday was the first really good day that Josh and I got to spend with Hannah. I was discharged at noon, and we spent the rest of the day by her bed. She was very alert that night, and Josh and I were allowed to hold her the entire time. It was so much fun. Of course, the most important thing was that she was healthy, and I was told that she was the best case scenario for an (almost) 35 week baby. She did require oxygen at first but she quickly weaned off of it. They also gave her a feeding tube and an IV, but she ate so well that they were quickly taken away. They also had me start pumping the day she was born. They did give her a couple of formula bottles in the first day or two, but I quickly had enough breast milk for her bottles. I was allowed to try breast feeding on Monday night. We continued with that whenever I was there, but of course they had to give her bottles when I was at home. On Tuesday morning, I practically ran to her bed because I wanted to hold her so bad but when I got there, she had gauze "glasses" around her eyes and she was under lights. I knew that her jaundice must have gotten worse. For three days, we were only allowed to hold her when it was time to eat, every three hours. That was really hard. Finally, on Friday morning, her bilirubin levels were decreased to the point that the doctor was comfortable releasing her. I started crying when the nurse told me. I was so happy to finally take her home!