This is a picture of Hannah making Josh feel better when his ankle was hurting.
We have been carrying double health insurance for the past 3 1/2 years and it almost seemed like a waste because we hardly ever used it. However, that has all changed in the last two months or so. On top of my pre-term labor, my helicopter ride to Champaign, and Hannah's week in the NICU, Josh has also been having some medical issues. He has been feeling very sick since about two weeks before Hannah was born. It started out with what they thought was an infected lymph node. Since then, he has been to four doctors and has had numerous tests run because he has just not been feeling well. They have given him a couple of medications to see if they will take care of the problem, although they are not sure what is wrong. On top of that, he came home the other night and said that he thought he broke his ankle in a charity basketball tournament for work. I almost starting crying-basically because I am so tired... We went the next morning for X-Rays and luckily it was just a bad sprain. I know that can be as bad as a break but I was still really glad. However, he cannot be much help right now because he cannot walk and has to keep his foot elevated and iced. I am pretty sure that by the end of this, our medical bills will be as much as our mortgage (and that is no exaggeration....). Doesn't it always seem that everything happens all at once?
So I knew that you have to be careful when changing a little boy's diaper... I didn't know the same was true for girls. On Saturday, I was dressing Hannah in the Family Room. I laid her on the ottoman to put her onesie on her. She began by spitting up on the ottoman. Then I heard her start to go to the bathroom. Since we were on our way out the door and I had her diaper bag there, I just decided to change her right there. Josh asked if I should take her to her changing table, and I said it wasn't a big deal. I took her diaper off and was holding her legs in the air with one hand while reaching for a wipe with the other. Apparently she had not finished going to the bathroom because all of a sudden, poop was spraying through the air.... yes SPRAYING THROUGH THE AIR. It went all over my left leg, and all over the ottoman, chair, and floor. I didn't know it could do that... it literally hit spots FEET away from her. Josh and I were hysterically laughing and extremely disgusted all at the same time. Hannah, I'm sure you will appreciate that story one day.
By the end of last week, I was starting to get cabin fever. I wasn't even sure what day it was. In two weeks, the only places I had been were the doctor's office and the IGA. I needed to GET OUT!!! On Saturday, Hannah and I made our first trip to my parent's house to watch the second half of the Illini game (we watched the first half with Josh). Then, we went to Champaign to pick Betsy up from college. We were feeling extra ambitious so we took Hannah on her first trip to the mall. I ended up just carrying her in my arms because her carrier was too heavy and awkward and we didn't have her stroller. Everyone was looking at her and saying "awww!!!" It was kind of fun. We went to the GAP and got her some little pants. At her shower, I had actually got 3 pairs of the same pants and I had taken back the smallest ones because they were so ridiculously small I thought there was no way I would have a baby small enough to wear them. So, I went back and bought the pants I had returned and she still has room to grow in them!
On Sunday I had contemplated taking her up to church for just a little bit but it was pouring down rain so we opted to stay at home. However, we did go to my parent's house for lunch. Then we went to Champaign for our weekly dinner at the Olive Garden (we hadn't been in a month!). I wasn't sure how it would go, but Hannah was perfectly content the whole time. I think she liked the lights at the restaurant. She kept staring at them. Her Grandma Jody held her the whole dinner-I'm not sure that she got to eat very much but she didn't seem to mind :) After dinner, we went to Wal-Mart and got some things that we needed. It was really nice just to get out of the house for a few days!
We have had Hannah home for a week now, and things are finally starting to calm down. We brought her home on Friday afternoon. The first weekend at home was insane. Once again, our phones were ringing off the hook and we had a constant flow of people wanting to see her. It was a bit overwhelming. I don't think some people understood that even though she was a week old, we had not had any time together just as a family to just sit and hold her. I think the next time I have a baby I will not tell anyone for a few weeks...ha!
On Monday, Josh and I had a day to ourselves with her which was wonderful, especially since Josh had to go back to work on Tuesday (he had been off for 11 days already!). We gave her a bath, which was fun. She didn't seem to mind it except when I got her head wet. She let out a little cry, but then she liked getting the shampoo put on. That day, Josh and Hannah also took a nap on the couch together which was pretty cute. They looked pretty comfortable. Josh and I love holding her and watching all of the faces that she makes. She always seems to be "smiling" at us which makes me laugh.
Hannah is doing great with her eating. The hospital was a huge advocate of breastfeeding, and they provided a lot of support. However, they warned me that Hannah might not catch on real fast and that she may only be able to breastfeed once a day for quite awhile. She proved them wrong! She caught on right away and seems to be gaining weight every day. I still give her some bottles to try and track her intake. Also, Josh does one of her night feedings so I can sleep which is really nice.
I love being at home with her all day. Her Grandma Teresa and her Grandma Jody both got to spend some time with us this week. I had a ton of stuff to do around the house, including some last minute work on the nursery but I am starting to feel somewhat organized. Things finally feel like they are how they are supposed to be. I love being with my beautiful baby girl.
After Hannah was born, she had to spend one week in the NICU. This made for a somewhat emotional/stressful week. In childbirth class, the teacher had warned us that something about our childbirth experience would not go as planned. She said you may have a long labor, you may need a c-section, you may be early or late, your pain relief plan may not work, etc. All through my pregnancy, I had pictured having my baby in my hospital room with me and Josh, learning how to nurse right away, taking her home with me, and having Josh home for a week with us. None of this happened. I struggled with thoughts that maybe I did something wrong or maybe I could have somehow prevented this. I also worried that somehow her health would be permanently harmed because of her being born early, and I worried that maybe it was my fault. Josh kept telling me that was ridiculous, but I still worried.
I asked one of the nurses how long she would be in the NICU. They were not really allowed to say because they really didn't know for sure, but she said they are always told to tell moms to shoot for their due date-that was five weeks away!!! She then said she thought it would be more like 2 to 2 1/2 weeks. This still devastated me. I wanted her home so bad. It was very hard to say good bye and leave her there every night. I worried that the nurses were spending more time with her than I was and that our "bonding" was being harmed by the situation.
One thing that made the situation easier was the nurses in the NICU. They were wonderful and clearly adored Hannah and took great care of her. One of them was already trying to set her up with her son! Whenever we were there, they made sure that we got to do everything (diaper changes, feedings, temperature checks, etc.) which I really appreciated.
The first weekend was extremely exhausting. The day she was born, we literally had visitors from the moment she was born until we went to bed. I didn't even get a shower that day and I had been in the hospital since Thursday (gross!). Our phone seemed to never stop ringing and people wanted to see us non-stop. We were allowed to be in the NICU at all hours, but I kept having to go back to my room to pump or for my "check-ups" or to greet visitors. It was so exhausting! I never got to take a nap the whole week and I had to get up every 3 hours during the night to pump. I wished she was in our room so I could at least be comfortable and be with her at the same time. I just couldn't rest in my room knowing she was in the NICU-I just wanted to be with her!
Monday was the first really good day that Josh and I got to spend with Hannah. I was discharged at noon, and we spent the rest of the day by her bed. She was very alert that night, and Josh and I were allowed to hold her the entire time. It was so much fun.
Of course, the most important thing was that she was healthy, and I was told that she was the best case scenario for an (almost) 35 week baby. She did require oxygen at first but she quickly weaned off of it. They also gave her a feeding tube and an IV, but she ate so well that they were quickly taken away. They also had me start pumping the day she was born. They did give her a couple of formula bottles in the first day or two, but I quickly had enough breast milk for her bottles. I was allowed to try breast feeding on Monday night. We continued with that whenever I was there, but of course they had to give her bottles when I was at home.
On Tuesday morning, I practically ran to her bed because I wanted to hold her so bad but when I got there, she had gauze "glasses" around her eyes and she was under lights. I knew that her jaundice must have gotten worse. For three days, we were only allowed to hold her when it was time to eat, every three hours. That was really hard.
Finally, on Friday morning, her bilirubin levels were decreased to the point that the doctor was comfortable releasing her. I started crying when the nurse told me. I was so happy to finally take her home!
On August 14th, I woke up at 5am with an overwhelming sense of urgency to clean my house. I got out of bed and starting polishing the wood floor in the dining room. Yes, there were more important things to be done around the house, but this was really bothering me. By 7am, it was time to start getting ready for work but I didn't feel very good and felt like I just couldn't leave my house with the shape it was in. So, I did what I had never done before-I called in sick. I stayed home and cleaned like a madwoman all day. I called my mom-she said I was nesting. We had talked about this in childbirth class and how it usually happens right before labor. I told my mom she was crazy-it was too early for nesting. I was only 33 1/2 weeks!
On August 15th, I went to work and was cramping all morning. I assumed it was Braxton Hicks contractions as I had been having them for awhile. They finally started to really hurt mid-morning and some ladies convinced me to call the doctor. The nurse told me to drink a bunch of water and to put my feet up and to go to the hospital if it continued. Well, after drinking a bunch of water, I felt fine. I figured I must have been getting dehydrated.
Then, on Monday, August18th, I started having cramps again in the afternoon. I left work an hour early and went home to rest. Again, I felt better and continued with my week.
On Thursday, August 21st, I started having some more symptoms. I still thought it was probably nothing, but I called the nurse hotline. The doctor on call said, "That's worrisome-you should go to the hospital to be checked." I told Josh and we made fun of her but decided it was better to be safe than sorry and we headed to the hospital. When I got there and told the nurse, she very nicely told me that these were normal things to happen during pregnancy and basically looked at me like I was crazy for being there. I already felt stupid for being there, but it was doctor's orders.
Finally, a male nurse midwife came to check on me. Before he even looked at me, he started writing my discharge papers telling me when I should call or come back. He asked the nurse if anyone had checked me. She said no. I won't go into the extreme awkwardness of this, but long story short, he said, "You're almost 5 cm. You're having this baby tonight." WHAT?!?!?!? Not the answer I was looking for. I looked Josh and his face said what I was feeling. No way, this is not happening...Surely it can be stopped...We are not ready...We don't have a name... the carseat is not put together... this is not what is best for the baby... I'm supposed to have my baby shower at work next week. Our heads were spinning. I said, "I have to go to the bathroom real quick." The midwife said, "You're not going anywhere. You are staying in this bed until you have the baby..."
They immediately put me on magnesium sulfate to try to stop or slow the labor. They told me it would make me feel terrible. What made me really feel terrible was the uncomfortable delivery bed and the stupid catheder they made me have. Also, the meds gave me the dryest mouth imaginable and they had me on a "limited ice" diet. I slept pretty awful all night but my labor did not progress and I was not in any pain. They said each extra day would make a difference. I was prepared to stay for a week or more.
We woke up the next morning and Josh was sicker than a dog. He had been on an antibiotic that was not agreeing with him. He was literally in the bathroom the entire day either getting sick or laying on the floor. I called my mom and asked her to come. The mag finally started getting to me and I started losing my "limited ice." I could hear Josh in the bathroom getting sick while I was laying in bed getting sick. It was not a fun day to say the least. However, I was in minimal pain. They kept asking if I needed pain medication, but I felt fine as far as that goes.
A new doctor came on shift and he said they wanted to take me off of the mag because even though my labor was not progressing, it was also not reversing (didn't know it could do that?). He said that if I went into labor further and actually gave birth, she would automatically be put on a helicopter and sent to Champaign because she was just under 35 weeks. In that case, he said I would have to stay in Danville because I would not be a medical emergency at that point. He suggested that I go to Champaign via helicopter before I gave birth so that we could be together. I agreed.
Soon, the helicopter arrived. The OB specialist who was going to be on the flight with me said that I was now at 6 cm. They loaded me onto the helicopter cot. I had to lay on my left side. My arms were tied down and my legs were caged in. All of my monitors, IVs, etc. were laid on top of me. It was just about a 12 min. flight to Champaign. I wished I could have sat up at watched.
As soon as I arrived at Champaign, they took me off of the mag and put me on pitocin to speed up the labor-a completely different story than at Danville, one that I am still a little confused about. I spent that night in Champaign and really did not progress at all in labor, even with the pitocin. At few minutes after 8 am, the doctor on shift came in and broke my water with no discussion about it. I'm still a little confused about that as well. Josh's cousin Pam called and we talked on the phone. I called my mom at 8:15 and told her that nothing was happening, although the cramping did start getting worse at the end of our conversation. I started looking in my "What to Expect" book about pain relief options and talked to the nurse about it. However, the contractions were getting very strong all of a sudden and I went from minimal pain to extreme pain in minutes. I started breathing really hard-too hard I know, but I couldn't stop. No one was in the room except Josh and I and all of a sudden I felt the urge to push. I pushed the nurse button and Josh told them I thought I was ready.
The nurse and doctor casually came in. The nurse checked me but didn't say anything and walked across the room. We had been warned in childbirth class not to push until we were told it was ok because if you are not at 10 cm you can reverse the process and that was the last thing I wanted to do! I asked if I could push. The nurse said yes, but wait until the next contraction. "It is a contraction" I said. I really didn't know if it was-I was just in a lot of pain. They said go ahead. The nurse and doctor were still across the room (it was a REALLY BIG room) and the nurse asked the doctor something that I didn't hear. The doctor said, "No, let's wait and just see how good of a pusher she is." I took that as a challenge. You want to see how good of a pusher I am?!?! Three pushes later, she was born! It was 8:51 so all of that had happened in about 25 minutes!! Even though I hadn't necessarily planned on doing it naturally, I was kind of an empowering feeling. I know it was only because my labor was so short that I did it, but it was still pretty cool.
As soon as I saw her I started crying/laughing. Josh cut the cord even though he had previously sworn he couldn't do it. Two nurses immediatly started caring for her while the doctor took care of me. I just wanted to see her and hold her. However, her immature lungs did not allow for that immediately. They had to take care of her. After they were comfortable with her condition, I got to hold her for a brief moment and they took her to the NICU. I already knew she would be going there. Hospital policy is that all babies under 35 weeks go there, and she was two days short. My mind was still spinning with all of the events of the last few days. I couldn't believe everything that had happened so unexpectantly. I will write more later about the following hours/days....
We went to my office on Hannah's one month birthday for one more baby shower. It was originally supposed to be the week Hannah was in the NICU so we rescheduled for when she could be there. Everyone had fun getting to see her. She got a lot more nice gifts, including her big carseat, diapers, wipes, toys, books, and my favorite-an Illini cheerleading uniform.
Josh's office also had a surprise shower for him, which he was not expecting at all. One of Josh's co-workers made Hannah a bookshelf with her name on it. They also got Hannah her highchair and lot of other fun things.
I was all caught up on my thank-you's but have a bunch more to write now! We have been very blessed to get lot of nice things for Hannah!
