First Trimester

I'm not going to lie, my first trimester was really, really rough.  There was hardly a day or even a part of a day that I felt well.  The nausea started at 6 weeks.  I threw up a lot.  A LOT.  I was even waking up at night to throw up, which I don't remember doing with my previous pregnancies.  It was pretty much awful.  It didn't matter if I had eaten anything or not, I still threw up.  If I was able to get something in my stomach, it usually helped, but trying to figure out what I could stomach was the challenge.  I ate a lot of Austin peanut butter crackers.  I also liked apples and bread and potatoes.  Beyond that, I'm not sure.  Every time I walked in the kitchen, I got sick.  I didn't cook for weeks.  I have no idea what my family ate.  It was difficult.  It's like having the stomach flu but for 8+ weeks.  When you're not in the situation, it doesn't sound that terribly long, but when you're in the middle of it, it feels like it will never end!  And then to top it off, you don't get to lay in bed and cancel everything like when you're really sick.  You have to put on a fake smile and go everywhere pretending like you're fine when you really just want to cry.  I literally walked the aisles of Wal-Mart, praying and fighting back tears and trying to find something I could eat.  I thought of Michelle Duggar and how she has been pregnant SO MANY times.  I had to think surely she does not get this sick.  Raising 19 children doesn't intimidate me nearly as much as facing this 19 times!  I say this every time I am pregnant, but some day, I will have a secret ministry for first trimester moms.

  

As soon as the nausea started to fade and I should have been hitting the "easy" part of pregnancy, I got a horrible migraine/headache that literally lasted for 5 weeks.... 5 weeks!  It never went away.  I had days that were better than others, but it always hurt.  There was one time the pain was so intense, I wanted to go to the ER.  But it was 2:30 a.m., and we had two sleeping children and Josh had to be at work in the morning, and I'm not even sure I could have walked to the car.  I tried everything in those weeks--icing my head, taking warm baths/showers (sometimes with ice on my head), trying to raise my blood pressure (my doc has said my low blood pressure could be the culprit), caffeine, tylenol, prescription drugs, ibuprofen (with my docs approval), drinking almond milk, etc.  I even had a friend who is a massage therapist come to my house twice for a massage.  It felt great but did not get rid of the headache.  I slept sitting up for weeks; that seemed to help a little.  I have had some really bad headaches/migraines with my previous pregnancies, but I had never experienced an unending one like this!  

So needless to say,  I am just not one of those women who "loves every part of pregnancy."  I have friends who say they never felt better than when they were pregnant.  I don't get that at all.  I have never felt worse.  Yes, I realize how dramatic I sound.  And yes, I realize that so many women would LOVE to be in my position.  I don't want to sound ungrateful.  I'm just saying it was not easy.  And I want to remember how hard it was for me.  I think sometimes women forget.  At this point, I feel like that's not possible.  But maybe someday when my own daughter(s) is facing this, I can look back and remember, yes it was difficult.  And then I can tell her, yes it was worth every bit of it!