Hearts at Home 2010

This month, I had the opportunity to attend my first Hearts at Home conference in Bloomington with a couple of my college girlfriends, Amy and Kristina, and a few of their friends. It was a great day. It was so awesome to be in a room of nearly 5,000 women who are all striving to be better wives and moms. I especially loved worship time, which was led by Christy Nockels. It was amazing to hear so many women lifting up their voices to God. Throughout the conference, we learned a lot about the power of the words that we use. As mothers and wives, it is our responsibility to choose our words carefully. We need to affirm and encourage our husbands and kids with our words. We also need to use words to show appreciation and to apologize when necessary. We cannot speak without thinking. The results can be devastating to those we love. I attended one workshop that talked specifically about marriage and was taught by Mark Savage. He talked about how important it is to think and speak well of our husbands. I think for most wives and moms, it can be easy to pick out what was done "wrong" or to complain about silly things. We need to focus on our husbands' strengths, not their weaknesses. Our husbands need us to need them, believe in them, trust them, and affirm them. We are not doing this when we are being nit-picky or nagging. We need to remember why we fell in love with them and love them for who they are. I feel like I have been blessed with such an incredible husband. I love his commitment to God and to our family. He always tries to do what is best for us and loves to make us happy. He has been so supportive of me staying at home with Hannah. I appreciate that he appreciates what I do, and that he wants me to do it :) Another thing I really love about him is his organizational skills. It may sound silly, but for someone with my personality, it is a huge plus :) I can always count on him to follow through on the things he is supposed to do, and I don't have to ask him twice (usually :). He is also a very hardworker. He always does a job the best that he can. I have no doubt that he loves me and Hannah, and that he is completely committed to us. I know that he would never leave us (even on my worst of worst days :). Maybe you would say that your man is disorganized and forgetful, but maybe he has other strengths such as being handy around the house, or being good at building new relationships, or being the life of the party. Whatever your husband's strengths are, be thankful for them, and focus on them. That is who you fell in love with! The other workshop that I really appreciated was taught by Jill & Mark Savage and was based on their new book, "Living with Less so your Family can Have More." They talked about how having less money, activities, and stress in your life can create more availability, peace, patience, kindness, joy, health, organization, energy, attentiveness, time, and margin. This has definitely proven true in my life. Since I started staying at home, I have had so much more time and opportunity to do the things I wanted to do when I was working but never had the time. I am much happier, and I feel that I have become a better wife due to reduced stress. Yes, that has meant a reduced income for our family, but honestly, we've hardly noticed the difference, and the sacrifice was well worth it. When I was working full-time, I was not yet a mother, and I still met myself coming and going. I felt like I was NEVER at home, and I never had any time to do anything that I WANTED to do. The only time I could clean my house or grocery shop was Saturdays, and that was only if we didn't have somewhere to be. So, on the weeks that we did, things simply did not get done. I was overwhelmed. I cannot imagine trying to squeeze time in with Hannah on that schedule. We were living a crazy, stressed life. By staying home, I have been able to shoulder some of the work that Josh was doing at the church, and I have a much better handle on managing our household, making it a more peaceful place to be. I love that my husband does not have to worry about dishes or laundry or what he will eat for dinner. I love that we each have our role in making our family work. I wouldn't change it for any amount of money. Instead of having extra material possessions, we have peace and time for our family. To me, that is priceless. This seminar corresponds with the devotional I am doing right now, which talks about how too many good things can actually be bad. It may be good for us to serve on a certain committee, and to relax and watch TV each night, and to spend time with friends, and to read a book, etc., etc., etc. But, if all of it adds up and takes away from our time with God and family, those good things become bad things. We should consider our time as a more valuable asset than money and set our priorities accordingly. I was so glad I got to go to the conference and reflect on all these thoughts. I left feeling encouraged in this journey of motherhood. I have found myself choosing my words and thoughts more carefully and being reassured in how our family has chosen to function. I look forward to future years of learning and growing. I know I have a long way to go!